Lost thoughts: feelings will pass

Coming home is lovely but I feel incredibly lost. It’s like reverting back to being a child again. I have all the freedom of bed times and can eat whatever snacks I want, but I feel small and put in my place. It’s not my parents, it’s not my home, it’s being back where you come from and the time and period you associate with that place.

It’s a feeling of not being quite old enough to do things, that step of independence that grants you complete and utter blissful freedom. I understand I don’t have many friends round here these days, they’ve either moved on, parted ways or are further afield. And that’s okay.

I need to accept that it’s okay to feel like this and that these feelings will pass. They’re very first world feelings, coming home to a nice cosy home, but I think it’s the loneliness and the change in pace that hits. At uni I live with people, there’s something or someone to be with all the time. I can go out at any time if day; for exercise, food, drink, study, shopping. Everything is within reach and here it’s just not. I can go for a walk here, even then it’s one of the same three roots seeing the same village people. I miss being able to go out easily; here the choices are walk, run, go to a coffee shop or go shopping. All good options but can get a bit repetitive. It makes me think j don’t want to come back here after uni for long periods, my life is no longer here.

It’s okay to feel lonely, I just need to accept that and the feelings will eventually pass because time is a constant.